The Power of Consecration

The Power of Consecration

Before my husband died I was doing all of the 'right' things.  We had family scripture study, FHE, family prayer.  I did my church calling and went to the temple once a month.  I always did my visiting teaching.  I even sporadically did the reading for Sunday School and Relief Society.  I wasn't very good at opening my scriptures for personal study... I was just too busy and guilt ridden to sit down and waste time like that, so I listened to hours of conference talks a day as I did my work.  Multitasking was my motto.

With all of the things that I was doing, I still felt something was lacking.  

Where was this 'enablement' from the spirit? 

Was this all that there really was? 

 Do I just need to do more?

I was praying for charity and empathy; I was praying to understand my very frustrating son and to see him how the Lord sees him; I was praying for direction...  All be it that I was doing it in bed as I drifted off to sleep or in the car on the way to go running.  With my half-hearted effort, I really wasn't receiving much...the occasional brilliant idea or warm fuzzy.

"What is wrong with me," I thought.  "I'm not doing anything bad; I'm trying...  Maybe this is all that you get when you are just a mom and in primary."  

I resigned myself to that fact and decided that I would just have to work harder and do it on my own.

Then my husband died and boy did that change everything.... literally everything.

Feeling normal, without the spirit, was absolutely not tolerable.  So I did everything and anything to feel it.  That meant realigning my priorities, and I didn't realize how misaligned they were.

I gave up television and listening to secular music. I became very selective about movies and only watched them when my children begged for a family movie night.  The days with the spirit withdrawn were just too painful to justify 2 hours of temporary entertainment.  I began really studying the scriptures.  Actually sitting down and highlighting and taking notes and then writing posts about what I learned. It helped, and answers started periodically coming.  More than just warm feelings, but words.  I found if I wrote those words when they were coming that I got a lot more words.  I desperately needed help and direction without my husband here, so I craved those words.  It was the incentive I needed to make those changes.

Yet, the biggest change of all came 10 months out.  I was very distraught about my house not selling and trying to move.  Nothing I was trying to make happen was working.  Finally I threw up my hands and said,

"I give up!  I am done fighting this fight.  I will do whatever you want me to do if you will just take care of me and my family.  I promise, I will put spiritual things first and I will follow any and every prompting I receive.  Just please, please take care of us."

I didn't realize what I was doing at the time, but as I have read other's experiences I now know this is something everyone must do.  This is the promise of consecrating yourself, and it literally opens up the word to spiritual wonders when you honestly and sincerely make and keep this promise with the Lord.

I threw away my massive 'to do lists' Which is huge for anyone that knows me! I got my kids off to seminary and school with prayers and scripture study, ran with my best friend while we talked about spiritual stuff, and then I came home to study the scriptures or a conference talk.  From there an idea would come to share the message on Facebook or through a text. Other promptings came too.  I worked on those and when I ran out I started my 'temporal work.'  If a prompting came I tried to act on it immediately or to at least write it down.  That is how I began to live my days.

From there the refining started.  Prompting to change things about myself and to improve the way I was keep commandments.  One thing at a time, the spirit would prompt me to do.  If I was obedient, which was hard, really hard sometimes, then I always found enablement or enlightenment on the other side.  I learned that I was always blessed for obedience and I promised even more that I would always obey.

Am I perfect at this?  Absolutely no, but I have become so accustomed to the spirit and the enablement that it brings me that I am quick to observe it's withdrawal and to make the needed corrections.  This has been a very humbling experience, but it has taught me that there are no spiritual limits.  Our obedience and willingness to put spiritual things first and to set aside temporal pleasures is all that is required to have the very most sacred of spiritual experiences.  We do not have to be a prophet, or an apostle or even hold the priesthood to have a personal relationship with the Savior and to receive His spiritual gifts and counsel.  This is open to anyone who is willing to walk the path of consecration and to fully and completely live the things we covenant in the temple... to avoid any unholy and impure practice and to dedicate our whole selves to the work of the Lord.

After all, it's that why we are here?

...To be apprentices to God.

So why weren't my efforts effective

 before my husband's death? 

I have actually analyzed this quite a bit...

• The portion I am willing to consecrate determines the portion of light I can receive. 
•  If I am disobedient to ANY prompting or commandments, then I limit my enablement and access to spiritual gifts.
• Quality is better than Quantity. 
•  Listening to 20 conference talks a day will do no good if I do not take the time to plan a way to act on what I am learning.
• I have to be still to hear the spirit. 
• I was so busy in my mind that there was no room for the spirit to speak, and if it did speak, my thoughts over powered it.   
• I have to be flexible and do what the spirit prompts first.  
• I was so busy and set on my schedule that there was no room for the spirit add things.
• I have to have time to ponder and write. 
• Listening and reading are not the same as studying.  Leaving time to ponder or write what I was learning was critical to learning to listen to the spirit.    
• I have to control my negative emotions: 
• I often let stress, irritation, and anxiety disrupt my ability to hear the spirit.
• Prayer requires action. 
• A blanket morning prayer asking for help will not provide the enablement I need, if I am unwilling to study about and try to apply the gifts I am seeking.
• The spirit does not take over my agency.  
• It will not tell me to do something if I have already set a determined course.  If I do not ask if what I am doing is what the Lord wants me to do, then I will not get an answer.