That the Spirit might be Unrestrained Among Us...
This spiritual journey that I have undertaken is prompting me to look inwardly at the very depths of my soul and to purify my heart or my thoughts and desires.
The other day after fasting, I closed my prayer and asked the Lord again for the blessing of knowledge that had been promised to me in two prior priesthood blessings. I laid upon my bed pondering these things in my heart and drifted off to sleep. As I began to awake the spirit showed me a picture of a conversation with my brother nearly six months ago. I was made aware that in my zeal to share some recent knowledge that I had acquired through much searching and pondering, that I had inadvertantly offended him. I was allowed to know from his perspective how he viewed my sharing as a correction, and how he had felt that I devalued him and his opinion. After seeing this intercourse from his perspective, I was made aware of other sibling relationships where I had been the catalyst for resentment and hard feelings.
Then I was reminded that the spirit would only be unrestrained if there were no unkind feelings among us.
I realized that I was not yet prepared for what I was seeking. That in order for me to acquire this blessing, the spirit would have to be unrestrained. I looked inwardly and saw that there were seeds of offense in my heart that my siblings had been offended by me. I saw that the only way to root these out and purify myself was for me to go to them with unconditional love and apologize for any offense that I had initiated through my fallacies and lack of ability to communicate my intentions and desires. I also saw that my behavior had been a stumbling block to them. I did not want to limit their spiritual progression in anyway. My mind was taken to this scripture...
28 And I would that ye should remember, that whosoever among you aborroweth of his neighbor should return the thing that he borroweth, according as he doth agree, or else thou shalt commit sin; and perhaps thou shalt cause thy neighbor to commit sin also. - Mosiah 4:28
I realized that I have accountability with my actions if I am the catalyst for someone else to commit sin. It is easy to look at the person who has been offended, gotten angry, etc. and to judge them and say that they should not have been offended, gotten angry, etc. It is easy to absolve myself of responsibility by saying that it was not my intention to offend. It is easy to place all of the burden of forgiveness on the offended person. However, in that thought process, I was offended by their offense.
Pride is the root of this lack of unity.
Unity and the desire to not be a stumbling block for others should be the primary motivator in our relationships, not our own personal need to be right or justified.
I have learned that anytime I feel the need to justify myself or my actions that I am being prideful and have need to repent.
My thoughts were brought back to the blessing about humility that my father had given me. Over and over again humility has been a common thread along this path. It is not something that is learned once, but it is required over and over in all of our relationships.
Humility and Charity are the keys to bringing down walls that prevent us from being able to share our light with others.
Charity allows us to receive that inspiration from God about how to impact someone. Charity shown to other helps them create a place in their hearts for the seed of truth to grow, but Humility allows them to trust the bearer of the truth. Only when a person feels that light is being shared with them unconditionally in love for the purpose of edification and not for ulterior motives will they be willing to receive it.
With this understand, I went to my siblings and attempted to make things right. I have been trying in my prayers to ask every night as I reflect back on my day, to see those things that I need to correct and to better purify myself and my relationships with others. I have found that as I have started this practice that the spirit is prompting me during the day to immediately make the correction when I am in danger of causing offense.
The following is an example of this...
