Being Touched by the Savior

 Being Touched by the Savior

My mother passed away on August 21, 2014, on her 64^th wedding anniversary.  After arriving home from the funeral I felt a sadness at being separated not only from my mother but from all my siblings and my father... for I live a long ways from many of them.  It was such a wonderful feeling of love when we were all together working on the plans for our dear mother’s funeral.  One particular day I felt a need to call one of my sisters to talk.  In our conversation she said something to me that left an impression on my mind...

a seed was planted.

That very next Sunday during the sacrament my mind went back to that comment by my dear sister.  She had told me how she had felt a desire to touch the Savior just as those who had lived during his lifetime had, and so for a year she went on a quest to learn how she could touch the Savior.  

She read stories about his life, studying those accounts of others who were privileged to touch the Savior, and her heart yearned for that experience someday herself.  Then she said one day as she was partaking of the sacrament, she heard the words come into her mind,

                           “Now you have touched the Savior”.  

She realized how true that was. 

As long as she was worthy,

each time she partook of the sacrament,

 she was touching the Savior 

and being cleansed from it.

The following Sunday as I was partaking of the sacrament, I pondered that thought from my sister and suddenly....
                              I felt the Holy Ghost begin to teach me.  

The story of the woman being healed by the Savior just merely by touching his garment came into my mind. (Matthew 9:20-22) 

She had been sick for twelve years seeking help from many physicians to no avail.  But when she heard about Jesus and the miracles he was performing, she just knew he could heal her.  There were so many people always surrounding Jesus and so she said within herself, 

“If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole (healed)."  

I realized that this woman had enough faith in who Jesus was and the power or light that was in him.  She knew that she only needed to touch him to receive his healing light.  

As the story goes she did touch the hem of his garment as he passed by and when she did He felt it.  He felt a portion of His power, His light leave him and he turned around to see who had touched him.  When he saw her, he could tell who had received a portion of his light and he said to her, 

“Daughter be of good comfort, thy faith hath made thee whole.” 

And she was healed from that hour.  

This is a beautiful story about faith, but also about the power or light that comes from the Savior that does heal...... that does strengthen our mortal bodies and makes us whole in so many ways.

I continued to search for other accounts of healing and was led to another story that is found in Matthew 14:35-36.  

This account is mentioned right after the experience of Peter walking on the water.  I had never remembered this part of the story because my mind was always drawn to the experience of Peter and the faith he had to walk on water. But as I began to read further, I found that this ship he was on eventually landed into the land of Gennesaret. 

"And when the men of that place had knowledge of him,”   

which means they recognized him because of his light and the Holy Ghost bore witness of this to them, or they had seen him before and heard of the great miracles he had performed, 

“they sent out into all that country round about, and brought unto him all that were diseased; and they besought him that they might only touch the hem of his garment: and as many as touched were made perfectly whole.”

As I read that story I sensed how much faith those people had in Jesus Christ.  I realized that they had probably bore their illnesses, their trials and adversities for a very long time.  These had humbled them and when they saw and learned what Jesus Christ could do and who he was, they only had to touch the hem of his garment to be healed. 

As I came to understand this, I realized that for me, 

each time I partake of the sacrament.....

Power in the Temple

Power in the Temple

Knowledge always unlocks doors 
for God’s people. 

I gained some incredible knowledge in the temple last week, which set the stage for an amazing experience to follow.  I want to share this “key” that I discovered which unlocks a beautiful experience just waiting to happen to each of us as we attend the temple. 

I have always understood that as we serve in the temple, we are serving our dead.  We are giving them the opportunity to accept or reject the covenants that we are doing that day.  I always pray for them throughout my temple service.  I pray that they will be receptive to the ordinances done that day.  Elder Richard G Scott encourages us to, 

"Be mindful of the individual for whom you are performing the vicarious ordinance. At times pray that he or she will recognize the vital importance of the ordinances and be worthy or prepare to be worthy to benefit from them." Temple Worship by Richard G Scott

As I have studied more about prayers, I have learned that the spirit can give you the words to pray.  

24 And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus prayed unto the Father, he came unto his disciples, and behold, they did still continue, without ceasing, to pray unto him; and they did not multiply many words, for it was given unto them what they should pray, and they were filled with desire. ( 3 Nephi 19:24)

So, I had begun to make that my focus during my prayers—to say the words that the spirit directed me to pray. I’m not great at it, but I’m trying. During one particular day in the temple, I found my usual prayer changing. I instead prayed that this particular name would recognize how important these ordinances were to ME, and that she would desire to have them as well.

I knew at that moment that she was a quiet observer that day.  She didn’t know if this was something she wanted to accept, but she was allowed to watch as I took her name through the temple.  I was praying that she would begin to desire it as she watched me and could see the importance I placed upon these ordinances. 

Until then, I didn’t understand how connected we can be with our deceased ancestors during the temple ordinances.   As we take their name upon us in the temple, we allow them to be very, very close to us.  We can gain great insights into the life that they lived and the feelings that they are experiencing there in the temple.

Last week, while in the temple, I began by taking a few family names through the initiatory process.  Richard G Scott has taught that,

The Afterglow of Conference Weekend

The Afterglow of Conference Weekend

Ever since Scott died I find myself counting the days down to conference... yearning for the new direction that it will bring.  10 hours of talks later (yes, I listened to priesthood too!)  I find my head swimming with so many thoughts and good intentions... Then Monday comes, and without a clear cut plan that spiritual high can dissipate.  I wanted to sum up some reoccurring themes that I saw.  The plan is to revisit these themes with other supporting talks during the next 6 months. Following Bednar's example from "Increase in Learning,"  I will be posting questions from each topic to consider and discuss with our families so that we can better apply the principles taught.

Theme from Conference October 2014 

(W: women's conference, P: priesthood)

We have a need to seek personal revelation, follow prophetic counsel, and follow the consecrated path walked by the Savior that will enable us to become more devoted disciples who will do the Savior's work and build strong personal and family foundations capable of weathering the storms ahead.

1. Personal Revelation
1. Uchtdorf, Eyring, Hales, Gody
2. Increasing individual spiritual preparation and commitment
1. Repentance, Sacrament, Agency and Avoiding sin:  Esplin, Robbins, Christofferson, Hamula, Ballard, Kacher, P: Cook, P:Utchdorf, P:Monson
2. Devoted discipleship: Packer, Klebingat, Gavarret, Monson, Scott, W:Burton, W: Stevens, W: Marriott, W: Utchdorf,  P: Christensen, 
3. Reaching out to rescue, love, comfort and serve others
1. Wong, Oaks, Anderson, Holland, Packer, Martinez, Bednar,  P:Davies,
4. Increasing Family spiritual preparation and commitment
1. Callister, Perry,  P: Eyring
5. Following the Prophet
1. Nelson, McConkie, 

Over and over we heard that we need to study the scriptures and "the words of the living prophets."  We know from President Benson that... 

"The living prophet is more important to us than a dead prophet."  

Today and yesterday we got to sample from the spiritual banquet of the specific things the Lord wants us to focus on during the next 6 months.  Now it is up to each of us to go back and feast on their words. Topical study is a great way to do this and organizing them into topics lets us see through repetition the things that the Lord is emphasizing.  Here is my Monday FHE plan...

1. I asked my children to review their notes and write down some major themes and things they felt inspired to work on.
2. We will discuss these and implement some plans to act on those things
3. Our ideas and questions are getting posted on a white board so that we can remind each other and add additional things as we think of them.
4. We will be revisiting the talks in FHE during the next 6 months tying them back to the doctrine and focusing on how to internalize and act on these principles.

I also wanted to share a few other key things in the past that have helped me to feast on the words of the talks as I review them later:

The Need to Be Right

The Need to Be Right

Since my husand's death I have learned to greatly appreciate the relationships that I had previously  built with my children.  They have served as a great sense of support and strength to me in a time of need.  The effort before became oil to my lamp in the darkness.

But I still had much work to do in those relationships and in the relationship with my extended family....

I have often had a inner struggles with the need 'to be right.' I think it is one of my biggest weaknesses.  When I was 16 my family bought me a sweatshirt that said, 

"I'm Not Opinionated, I'm just Always Right!"

I honestly didn't understand why they thought it was so funny.  That was how very un-selfaware I was.  I still really struggle with this, but now it is something I am working to correct within myself. I equate it with pride or the lack of humility or meekness. 

The need 'to be right' is one of the biggest cancers in relationships.

I find that if I ever feel the need to justify my negative behavior that I am flat out in the wrong.  It doesn't matter what someone else has done or said, I have the ability to control my response and I do not need to respond negatively in turn.  I can choose to do better than that.  Inflamed communications don't need fanning of the fire, they need quenching.  I can choose to be the water that smooths things over if I am thinking and empathizing with the other person instead of thinking of myself.

The other day I was driving with my 15 year-old son who was not listening to my patient corrections about his driving.  I raised my voice and then I began to berate him.  I watched as he became more anxious and I felt him close off from me.  I knew that I had damaged our relationship by my unkind corrections.

Now I could have easily justified myself because of the potential danger of having an accident.  I did need to correct him, but it was not the correction that was the problem, it was the way I did it and the way I made him feel.  

I was wrong because I made him feel bad.

I am always in the wrong, even if I am right, if I make someone feel bad.

One of the biggest problems with this kind of communication is that we cripple other people's ability to positively act.  We hurt their confidence and we put them in a place where they cannot feel the spirit.

Do I care more about my car than I do about my son's ability to feel the spirit and to feel good about himself?

Establishing the Cause of Zion: The Desires of our Hearts part 1

Establishing the Cause of Zion:

The Desires of our Hearts part 1

I got asked to teach Doctrine in Covenants in Seminary this week.  I was super excited about this, because I have been wanting to study the D&C in greater depth.  It was Scott's favorite book of scriptures, but I never understood why until recently.  The lesson was on a topic that has become of special interest to me since Elder Bednar's BYU devotional.  I wanted to share some of my thoughts and insights as I believe this chapter 11 holds the key to understanding how our desires and doing the Lord's work facilitate us on the consecrated covenant path.

The word desire is repeated 8 times in D&C 11 verses: 3, 8, 10, 14, 17, 21, and 27.  I have learned that repetition is the Lord's way to draw our attention to important concepts in the scriptures.  He says whoso desireth to reap... (vs3), as you desire of me so it shall be done unto you... if you desire, you shall be the means of doing much good... (vs8), if thou wilt desire of me in faith... (vs10), all things whatsoever you desire of me... (vs14), according to your desires (vs17), if you desire, you shall have my Spirit ... (vs21),  all who have good desires (vs27).

Hence our righteous desires are the root of any blessing we seek to obtain, and making sure that they are righteous is the key to receiving those things that the Lord is so eager to give us. How do we know where our true desires lie?  Not just the things that we say, but the things deep in our heart?  This is an important question, because in the end, we know that we are judged by the desires of our hearts.

I think the best way to be introspective is to ask ourselves... If I had a free day with no obligations, how would I choose to spend my time?  Would you want to watch sports, or movies, go out to eat, get your nails done?  Would you catch up on extra work, or visit a friend?  Would you want to spend time with family, or study your scriptures?  How would you parcel that day and what portion would you willingly give to the Lord... not out of obligation, but how much would you want to give Him?

We are all on a different spectrum.  If I asked this question to someone who had deep seeded addictions, I would get one desire; a average member of the church would give me another, and President Monson another still.  

How would the Savior answer that question?  Where would His desires be? 

That is where we need to be some day, where He is, but thank goodness we don't have to come all that way on our own. We start where we are...

Alma 32:27 But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than ^adesire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

We start with one desire and we nourish that through obedience.  In the beginning it is a tender plant and we have to take care to not let that desire die.  As we continue to faithful act that plant becomes mature and it is fruitful unto us.

 Alma 32:42 And because of your ^adiligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the ^bfruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst. 43 Then, my brethren, ye shall ^areap the ^brewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth ^cfruit unto you.

That fruit is the blessing promised to us by our Heavenly Father.  What is the specific blessing of being obedient and acting on righteous desires?  The blessing is to feel joy and to receive a greater portion of the spirit of God or a greater portion of light.  What does that light amount to? It is the knowledge and attributes of divinity found in spiritual gifts.

As we find the fruit to be "delicious" to us, new desires are planted in our hearts.  It is interesting to me that fruit is always filled with new seeds.  Those desires grow and become fruitful.  What starts as a seed, the 'smallest particle of faith' or the 'desire to believe' eventually if nourished becomes an orchard.

This is the how the Savior enables us to go from bad to good and from good to better.

We do not have to plant all of the seeds at once, and as the trees mature they can withstand periods of drought and high winds.  The planting and care of an orchard can seem like an enormous task with just a single seed to begin with.  Fortunately we have a master Gardner near by who will instruct us if we simple turn to Him for help.

God's work and glory is to bring to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. (Moses 1:39) His goal is to get us to desire to become like Him, and then line upon line to school us so that we, in the end, do have the same desires as He does.

I invite you to study the scriptures in this message in addition to other scriptures and conference talks about desire.

Seminary Teacher's Manual for D&C 11-18

Maxwell, Neil A. "According to the Desires of Our Hearts," Oct 1996

Oaks, Dallin H. "The Desires of Our Hearts" Oct 1985

How do we teach children to truly understand and internalize truth?

How do we teach children to 

truly understand and internalize truth?

An invitation to learn..

When faced with a child who has misbehaved or made a choice contrary to my wishes, my natural response is to lecture them. Lecturing, while effective at imparting my opinion and expressing my frustration is NOT the most effect way to foster understanding. Understanding is a step beyond knowledge. It requires experience, personal application and reflection. As a teacher of math and science, I have learned about the levels of critical thinking. The bottom level of learning is knowledge followed by comprehension, application, analysis, synthesis and then evaluation. The higher levels of learning require more student interaction and foster greater understanding and internalization of principles. Knowing this should help me change my teaching tactics, but old habits are hard to break without concerted effort. How often in frustration I have said, “Haven’t I told you a million times!” Maybe I need to take a hint from my own words and quit ‘telling’ and start fostering analysis, synthesis and evaluation. Recently this has caused me to deeply look at how I respond to my children.

How do we foster those higher levels of thinking?

First, we need to remember that we all learn best through study, experience and reflection. In the education world this is referred to as ‘Inquiry Learning.’ For example, a child learns a stove is hot and not to touch it, not by simply being told this, but by experiencing an uncomfortable sensation when they touch the hot stove. As the child thinks of his experience, he developes his own understanding of this truth. From that understanding he patterns his future actions.

Second, we have to treat our children as agents who have the ability to act not as objects to be controlled. In order to become effective independent learners, children need opportunities to make choices, to draw their own conclusions and experience natural consequences.

Instead of ‘telling' we need to ask questions that guide our children to have their own learning experiences and draw their own conclusion. Then they will be empowered to use their agency and gain their own understanding.

I recently tried this tactic with my twelve-year old daughter. She had been responding very negatively to her brother. I had tried my previous pattern of lecturing to no avail. A few Sunday’s ago I was helping my daughter work on a goal setting program for the young women at church. We were talking about the importance of patience in mothering. For the goal she had to learn about patience and form an action plan to develop patience. I asked her,

“How do you think patience would help your relationship with your brother?”

She responded with her thoughts. Then after studying some scriptures on patience, on her own she decided to practice patience with her brother for her goal experience. Tonight she came to me to sign off her goal. As I thought back on the last three weeks, I realized that her relationship with her brother had drastically improved. I asked her about her experience, what she had learned, how she thought it had affected her and how it had affected our family.

By setting a goal she had independently learned, practiced, and internalized a principle in a way that my lecturing had never inspired. Furthermore, we had good, relationship-building conversations instead on guilt ridden, angry exchanges.

As I have reflected on this experience, I have realized that I need to actively choose to handle problems with my children by using Inquiry learning instead of by reacting and instinctively lecturing them. I need to ask them questions that cause them to reflect on their behavior, it's consequences and their goals for the future.  I need to invite them to study and then act what they learn.  Then I need to follow up to help them evaluate their experiences.

I guess reflection and experience teaches parents lessons as well!

I invite you to read or listen to the following, but especially the portions from Elder Bednar's Book. Ponder and write about how you can apply these principles to the people you teach.  Share with us some ways that you are learning to offer invitations to learn.

Eyring, Henry B. "A Life Founded in Truth" BYU Speeches, Aug 2000

Bednar, David A. "Increase in Learning." Deseret Book, 2011

(preface, Chapter 1, Chapter 1 related readings)

That the Spirit might be Unrestrained Among Us...

That the Spirit might be Unrestrained Among Us...

This spiritual journey that I have undertaken is prompting me to look inwardly at the very depths of my soul and to purify my heart or my thoughts and desires.  

The other day after fasting, I closed my prayer and asked the Lord again for the blessing of knowledge that had been promised to me in two prior priesthood blessings.  I laid upon my bed pondering these things in my heart and drifted off to sleep. As I began to awake the spirit showed me a picture of a conversation with my brother nearly six months ago.  I was made aware that in my zeal to share some recent knowledge that I had acquired through much searching and pondering, that I had inadvertantly offended him.  I was allowed to know from his perspective how he viewed my sharing as a correction, and how he had felt that I devalued him and his opinion.  After seeing this intercourse from his perspective, I was made aware of other sibling relationships where I had been the catalyst for resentment and hard feelings. 

Then I was reminded that the spirit would only be unrestrained if there were no unkind feelings among us.

I realized that I was not yet prepared for what I was seeking.  That in order for me to acquire this blessing, the spirit would have to be unrestrained.  I looked inwardly and saw that there were seeds of offense in my heart that my siblings had been offended by me.  I saw that the only way to root these out and purify myself was for me to go to them with unconditional love and apologize for any offense that I had initiated through my fallacies and lack of ability to communicate my intentions and desires.  I also saw that my behavior had been a stumbling block to them.  I did not want to limit their spiritual progression in anyway. My mind was taken to this scripture...

28 And I would that ye should remember, that whosoever among you ^aborroweth of his neighbor should return the thing that he borroweth, according as he doth agree, or else thou shalt commit sin; and perhaps thou shalt cause thy neighbor to commit sin also. - Mosiah 4:28

I realized that I have accountability with my actions if I am the catalyst for someone else to commit sin. It is easy to look at the person who has been offended, gotten angry, etc. and to judge them and say that they should not have been offended, gotten angry, etc.  It is easy to absolve myself of responsibility by saying that it was not my intention to offend.  It is easy to place all of the burden of forgiveness on the offended person.  However, in that thought process, I was offended by their offense. 

 Pride is the root of this lack of unity.

Unity and the desire to not be a stumbling block for others should be the primary motivator in our relationships, not our own personal need to be right or justified.  

I have learned that anytime I feel the need to justify myself or my actions that I am being prideful and have need to repent.

My thoughts were brought back to the blessing about humility that my father had given me.  Over and over again humility has been a common thread along this path.  It is not something that is learned once, but it is required over and over in all of our relationships.  

Humility and Charity are the keys to bringing down walls that prevent us from being able to share our light with others.  

Charity allows us to receive that inspiration from God about how to impact someone.  Charity shown to other helps them create a place in their hearts for the seed of truth to grow, but Humility allows them to trust the bearer of the truth.  Only when a person feels that light is being shared with them unconditionally in love for the purpose of edification and not for ulterior motives will they be willing to receive it.

With this understand, I went to my siblings and attempted to make things right.  I have been trying in my prayers to ask every night as I reflect back on my day, to see those things that I need to correct and to better purify myself and my relationships with others.  I have found that as I have started this practice that the spirit is prompting me during the day to immediately make the correction when I am in danger of causing offense.

The following is an example of this...